How To Build Financial Trust With Your Spouse

MatchupAccess
Jun 15
6 min read

Updated: Jun 15

When spouses are not financially on the same page, it can lead to hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Learning to speak openly and honestly about money can help you create a sturdy foundation for your future.

Why Financial Trust Is Key to A Healthy Relationship

Financial problems in a relationship are a significant predictor of divorce. Tension often grows over time when couples cannot trust each other with money. However, a relationship is often stronger when a couple is on the same page with their financial goals.

Common Financial Challenges Couples Face

Financial challenges can impact your mental well-being. While each situation is different, there are a few common money issues couples face. Separate earnings may cause resentment over purchases, while debt can spark tension. You may be financially conservative, while your partner prefers to spend their money freely. If you have children, the additional stress of parenting can worsen existing financial issues in a relationship.

Steps To Improve Financial Communication

There is a clear connection between finances and mental health. Money issues may lead to psychological distress, contributing to a decline in physical health. Fortunately, there are several things couples can do to improve financial communication.

On a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is easy and 10 is hard, I would put this process at a solid 9! However, you know what they say when you accomplish a tough job, everything is downhill from there. Diving into specifics with your spouse when it comes to Financial Challenges sometimes feels like a mild interrogation. But it is not that and the more open you are and the more you use your words to communicate how you feel during the process is extremely important. You will be discussing topics like income/salary details, credit card balances, savings goals and strategies, resisting to buy the unnecessary things and not eating out so much. Just to name a few. Let the process work and follow the steps to Build Financial Trust with Your Spouse.

Step #1: Have Open Conversations About Money

Transparent conversations have a positive impact when it comes to money and couples. Before having a conversation about money, make sure the timing is appropriate. For any couple, money conversations should occur when both partners are well-rested and have the time to focus on each issue.

Step #2: Set Financial Boundaries and Expectations

Ensure you and your spouse have equal access to all your financial information, including transactions and account balances. Creating an agenda before financial check-ins is helpful, but don't set too many goals. It's best to focus on one or two topics and save the rest for later.

Step #3: Create a Joint Financial Plan

While many partners have differing financial values, the best way to create a joint financial plan is to focus on your shared goals. However, you must also respect each other's needs and allow some personal spending to prevent resentment.

Step #4: Budget Together as a Couple

A shared budget can heighten financial transparency and help you make better financial decisions together. To create a shared budget, calculate the amount of money coming into the household and then decide how much should go towards bills and other investments. To budget successfully, you need to know where you stand financially and where you'd like to go.

Step #5: Manage Shared Expenses Without Conflict

If both partners are employed but have a significant income disparity, consider splitting shared expenses based on each partner's earnings. This practice will make things more fair for the lower-earning partner while allowing both to contribute to the household bills. You may also consider getting a joint account dedicated to paying these bills.

How To Rebuild Financial Trust After a Breach

Even couples with the best intentions may grapple with a lack of financial trust. Once financial infidelity occurs, it can be challenging to reestablish trust.

I remember when we were on a path to save for our first home. There was so much excitement between us because we had a strategy and had a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, which was to be our first house! Then one day I had an itch and wanted to buy that ‘thing’ which was really pricey, but I had to have it. I had gone months staying in my lane in terms of saving and thought, you know, just buying this one ‘thing’ won’t do any harm. Gosh was I wrong. It was like when a rock hits your windshield one day and leaves a little chip. Then a few days later, the chip becomes a spreading crack. This is what it could feel like when you get off track with your savings strategy. This situation is completely salvageable, and it is only human to make a mistake. And it is even more human to learn from the mistake and get back on track to maintaining your healthy savings strategy and continue to build the Financial Trust with Your Spouse.

Recognizing and Addressing Financial Infidelity

Many spouses have felt a twinge of uncertainty when it comes to their partner's spending habits but aren't sure how to confront them or deal with the situation. Some of the most common signs of financial infidelity include:

Defensive responses to questions about finances.
Concealing purchases and spending.
Unexplained shortages in your account.
Hiding consumer debt or bank accounts.

If these patterns seem familiar, it's important to speak with your partner to investigate further.

Steps To Reestablish Trust

A financial betrayal can be just as painful as infidelity in a marriage. However, there are steps you can take to heal:

Be Honest: Prioritize honest communication about spending habits. Have a difficult and serious conversation about your finances.
Accept Responsibility: Take responsibility for the financial breach of trust. Apologize and work on truly changing your behavior.
Let Go of Resentment: Approach these conversations from a place of understanding rather than anger to overcome financial infidelity.

When To Seek Professional Help

If you're struggling with financial infidelity or your money issues are affecting your mental health, you may find it best to seek professional help.

Benefits of Financial Counseling for Couples

Financial counseling can help protect your relationship and teach you how to handle your finances through positive communication methods and conflict-resolution skills. By attending financial counseling, you can further explore deeper issues that may be causing conflict.

How To Find the Right Financial Therapist or Counselor

Financial therapists use a combination of financial coaching and behavioral therapy to help you and your spouse improve your behaviors, thoughts and feelings about money so you can make better financial decisions in the future. You can find a certified financial therapist online. The Financial Therapy Association can help you find the right therapist who aligns with your needs and provides you and your spouse with the support you need to reestablish financial trust.

Habits That Foster Long-Term Financial Trust

Reestablishing financial trust with your partner can take time, but certain habits can help you get there. Opening a joint credit card can help you both maintain financial transparency and develop a good line of credit. Avoid lying about your financial situation, be clear about boundaries and pay your bills on time. It's always a good idea to discuss finances before getting married in the first place.

Regular Financial Check-Ins

Having regular, open and honest conversations about money is one of the best habits that can establish long-term financial trust in your relationship. By penciling in a regular financial check-in, you can ensure you both remain focused on your shared goals.

Celebrating Shared Financial Wins

When you pay off a debt or meet your savings goal, celebrate these wins together. Acknowledging financial wins, no matter how small, can strengthen your bond and reinforce your determination to meet even larger goals.

Building financial trust is a continuous effort that will evolve as your relationship grows. By learning how to improve financial communication and working towards shared monetary goals, you can create a strong relationship that can withstand the challenges that life will inevitably throw your way.

Need help navigating your financial journey? Whether you're looking for financial planning support or business guidance, connecting with the right advisor can make all the difference. Click here for a free consultation and find the trusted professional who can help you achieve your goals.

References